he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I didn't notice because vodka
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
