i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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