Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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