Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
