Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
