I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do vagina's smell?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
