His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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