how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
