It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
