It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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