Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry EZBlAZIN hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles

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(501): View more from Arkansas

So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

bonus

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(213): View more from California

You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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(714): View more from California

Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

(1-714): View more from California

If he was naked that was me.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.

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