i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
