I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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