okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
