"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
