I wanna bring you to show and tell
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
