Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
