So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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