And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
