I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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