Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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