How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize