what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
