At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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