I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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