Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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