I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
