I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
