do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
