What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
