Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
