She said her name was "party"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
