What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
