He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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