There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
