More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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