WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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