when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
