I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
