There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
