you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
