I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
