Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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