All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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