gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
