Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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