The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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