I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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