to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
