You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
