what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
