Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
