I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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