i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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