yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
