Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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