Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize