What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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